NO GOD NO DEVIL
speak your free mind to me
and I will hear
but I will not take to heart
show me your ways
and I will watch
but I will not take to heart
as much as I care; I ruin just as much;
as much as I love; I hate just as much;
as much as I live; I lie dead for far more.
Take me to your Church, your haunted halls of shallow faces twisted in ways they are not meant to bend
Take me to your Hospital, your damned demanding their next meal of false hope
Take me to your Home, a bond of people living within their own heads clashing with everyone else - is this all really necessary?
your God never did anything for me
your Devil never conquered me
your People never hunted me
and I will hear
but I will not take to heart
show me your ways
and I will watch
but I will not take to heart
as much as I care; I ruin just as much;
as much as I love; I hate just as much;
as much as I live; I lie dead for far more.
Take me to your Church, your haunted halls of shallow faces twisted in ways they are not meant to bend
Take me to your Hospital, your damned demanding their next meal of false hope
Take me to your Home, a bond of people living within their own heads clashing with everyone else - is this all really necessary?
your God never did anything for me
your Devil never conquered me
your People never hunted me
NOOSE
I am waste
i am rage
I am plight
I am fate
None of this makes any sense to me, how much a sack of flesh, blood, and bone could mean so much and yet feel so much
A bag of your teeth would be so valuable to me, knowing that you could not show your beautiful mess of a face around me any longer
and yet I repeat
and repeat
and repeat
every single godforsaken day I cannot leave myself alone
Believing you are there to hear but even as it was long ago I beg you to be gone
Nothing but the vines could comfort me now
So as a final wish
let them grow over my withered hands and gashed chest
let them grow into me through my eyes
let them become me
i am rage
I am plight
I am fate
None of this makes any sense to me, how much a sack of flesh, blood, and bone could mean so much and yet feel so much
A bag of your teeth would be so valuable to me, knowing that you could not show your beautiful mess of a face around me any longer
and yet I repeat
and repeat
and repeat
every single godforsaken day I cannot leave myself alone
Believing you are there to hear but even as it was long ago I beg you to be gone
Nothing but the vines could comfort me now
So as a final wish
let them grow over my withered hands and gashed chest
let them grow into me through my eyes
let them become me
STREET-LINES FROM PORCELAIN
Truth be told I sometimes feel insincere
With my work
With my air
I keep myself alive just to see what you feel like today
Happy that you’re here
This current bottle, I lost my mind
A bottle before, I was writing out my own epitaph for the local sellouts to read
And to think only a room of bottles before
I was young, clean, and unaware
Of the all that ruined the self that is today
I did not drink, I did not find what was in your head, I never could
That was yours to keep
And my pen only made to spread the thread of my consciousness to its breaking point
Why have you forgiven me?
Rather, have you forgotten me?
At this I write more
Until the words simply
lose all will
And I become who I said I am
With my work
With my air
I keep myself alive just to see what you feel like today
Happy that you’re here
This current bottle, I lost my mind
A bottle before, I was writing out my own epitaph for the local sellouts to read
And to think only a room of bottles before
I was young, clean, and unaware
Of the all that ruined the self that is today
I did not drink, I did not find what was in your head, I never could
That was yours to keep
And my pen only made to spread the thread of my consciousness to its breaking point
Why have you forgiven me?
Rather, have you forgotten me?
At this I write more
Until the words simply
lose all will
And I become who I said I am
GASOLINE
control yourself to preserve control,
that’s what they all taught me
As I breathed the fumes of which I lay to rest in
I do not know of what story to follow
I tend to walk, walk alone with another
Another shade, another dream
Eternally I wake
In this bare Feather Room
He stands at the end before the door
reading from his book of silence
I cannot bring myself to leave this place
control yourself to preserve control,
that’s what they all taught me
As I breathed the fumes of which I lay to rest in
I do not know of what story to follow
I tend to walk, walk alone with another
Another shade, another dream
Eternally I wake
In this bare Feather Room
He stands at the end before the door
reading from his book of silence
I cannot bring myself to leave this place
PEACE
All is finally gone
Love and Hate, in their terrible glowing masks
Finally released me from their claws that gored my dead skins
I have been left with all that I care about
But you keep turning to find me whenever I am at peace
And just end right where you stand
You’ve done so much and it no longer affects me
Look at me one more time, I dare you
I’ve had enough and all I feel inside is annoyance for you
One more time
And I declare that will be the end of these words that string from my open mouth
One more time
And I declare it will be the end of you
It is finally over and I have found someone beautiful and whole
Someone right and someone clean
You are over and you are gone
Let the rain sweep you away
Sweep away like the leaves on that Thursday night when the Moon stopped
All is finally gone
Love and Hate, in their terrible glowing masks
Finally released me from their claws that gored my dead skins
I have been left with all that I care about
But you keep turning to find me whenever I am at peace
And just end right where you stand
You’ve done so much and it no longer affects me
Look at me one more time, I dare you
I’ve had enough and all I feel inside is annoyance for you
One more time
And I declare that will be the end of these words that string from my open mouth
One more time
And I declare it will be the end of you
It is finally over and I have found someone beautiful and whole
Someone right and someone clean
You are over and you are gone
Let the rain sweep you away
Sweep away like the leaves on that Thursday night when the Moon stopped
SOLILOQUOY OF THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS
feeling all that I am not
filling my worthless head with lies of gold
I want to take all that you are
put a bullet in your brain for all that you have made me crave
every night I scream
scream for what doesn’t exist between you and I
I sleep with my eyes draining over the crevices of the sheets
I yearn for the steel of your teeth against my ear
You grow and grow
As a person
As a being
Through each filament of your iris I want to consume all that you are and more
All those around you
All those you love
I am starving, with a hunger I cannot satiate
My shredded teeth are aching from all the words you feed me
Yet they scream for more
Why do you keep all your light from me?
Away from me, your most important soul
I ACHE FOR ALL THE POWER AND I ABSOLUTELY NEED IT
my jawbones are splitting from how much I silently scream when I cannot simply take it
My teeth are rotting
Rotting just like a dog who had all he wanted just out of reach
They all lie at my feet
Those cowardly pigs with nothing to scream for
One by one I pick them bone from bone
Vein by vein
Tooth by tooth
They are not worthy of their pieces
I feast on their dreams
For they are the gift of imagination
The papers slump to the floor
Ageless words melting and consuming the bloodlust of yesteryear
Nothing comes to fruition as nothing was meant to be
I wait for the Door to open
I wait for It to come
centuries have passed my dear old friend
Boards creak while I storm up the stairs
My teeth, they ache, for what I have said
The boars have come to feast today
The sharp crisp bone shears its way out of my mouth
Your insolence makes me want to consume you
Do you see what you’ve done to me?
Its irreversible, this plague
l would hollow out your skull for the pleasure of spotless pain
feeling all that I am not
filling my worthless head with lies of gold
I want to take all that you are
put a bullet in your brain for all that you have made me crave
every night I scream
scream for what doesn’t exist between you and I
I sleep with my eyes draining over the crevices of the sheets
I yearn for the steel of your teeth against my ear
You grow and grow
As a person
As a being
Through each filament of your iris I want to consume all that you are and more
All those around you
All those you love
I am starving, with a hunger I cannot satiate
My shredded teeth are aching from all the words you feed me
Yet they scream for more
Why do you keep all your light from me?
Away from me, your most important soul
I ACHE FOR ALL THE POWER AND I ABSOLUTELY NEED IT
my jawbones are splitting from how much I silently scream when I cannot simply take it
My teeth are rotting
Rotting just like a dog who had all he wanted just out of reach
They all lie at my feet
Those cowardly pigs with nothing to scream for
One by one I pick them bone from bone
Vein by vein
Tooth by tooth
They are not worthy of their pieces
I feast on their dreams
For they are the gift of imagination
The papers slump to the floor
Ageless words melting and consuming the bloodlust of yesteryear
Nothing comes to fruition as nothing was meant to be
I wait for the Door to open
I wait for It to come
centuries have passed my dear old friend
Boards creak while I storm up the stairs
My teeth, they ache, for what I have said
The boars have come to feast today
The sharp crisp bone shears its way out of my mouth
Your insolence makes me want to consume you
Do you see what you’ve done to me?
Its irreversible, this plague
l would hollow out your skull for the pleasure of spotless pain
CARNAGOPHAGUS
After everything that had gone
bullets wasted, lies harvested
the moon shone over my flecked eyes
Stay and sweep, blow and recede
The twisted talons of your claws
Wrenching your beating heart
Away from my slithering tomb
Binding and locking all I had with you
Simply removed
Once
Twice
And for ghostly dessicated remains of what was once there
All for naught
After all that had happened
Between your ravaged soul and mine
After all that you left me with
Am I not worth your time?
I never understood you
I never understood you
After everything that had gone
bullets wasted, lies harvested
the moon shone over my flecked eyes
Stay and sweep, blow and recede
The twisted talons of your claws
Wrenching your beating heart
Away from my slithering tomb
Binding and locking all I had with you
Simply removed
Once
Twice
And for ghostly dessicated remains of what was once there
All for naught
After all that had happened
Between your ravaged soul and mine
After all that you left me with
Am I not worth your time?
I never understood you
I never understood you
SNAKESKIN
take me where you are going and love me when you’re gone
the rain cried
she flowed through her words like knives in bloodwater
Brother turned on brother, loss like a fly in a cage
all of what I have given you, the space you need and the time to breathe
to create a humor of viscous anonymity
soot stuck to your feet
trailing through the House of Cards
spade for spade, club for club,
all you dreamed of is right here and now
take me where you are going and love me when you’re gone
the rain cried
she flowed through her words like knives in bloodwater
Brother turned on brother, loss like a fly in a cage
all of what I have given you, the space you need and the time to breathe
to create a humor of viscous anonymity
soot stuck to your feet
trailing through the House of Cards
spade for spade, club for club,
all you dreamed of is right here and now
BREATH OF A STOWAWAY
the cords of your neck plunge and resurface
like a skipper in the Newfoundland breeze
Only you know where I am headed
Do you want to know more?
The deep purple under your eyes, sways and blows with each crestfallen
dive of your rosy eyelids, closing off the light of the world
the cords of your neck plunge and resurface
like a skipper in the Newfoundland breeze
Only you know where I am headed
Do you want to know more?
The deep purple under your eyes, sways and blows with each crestfallen
dive of your rosy eyelids, closing off the light of the world
ANADONIA
movement is my enemy
I cannot seem to create and nothing is to be done
About it, in the shallow shadows that have flooded the palace of the mind
I simply cannot move, I cannot live
I await all you have to say, and until then I shall cease to exist
movement is my enemy
I cannot seem to create and nothing is to be done
About it, in the shallow shadows that have flooded the palace of the mind
I simply cannot move, I cannot live
I await all you have to say, and until then I shall cease to exist
REALITIES I
I’m sorry, I have to have you gone
You have taken too much of me
I cannot bear this cross of iron any longer
crack crack crack crack that’s all I need to hear
Even if it is simply just for a moment
that is all I am
A moment
A monument
Both shall intertwine to form the shade that coats our blind eyes and casts our souls to the inexhaustible fire of the Pit.
I’m sorry, I have to have you gone
You have taken too much of me
I cannot bear this cross of iron any longer
crack crack crack crack that’s all I need to hear
Even if it is simply just for a moment
that is all I am
A moment
A monument
Both shall intertwine to form the shade that coats our blind eyes and casts our souls to the inexhaustible fire of the Pit.
WENDIGO'S THORNS
He stands before my clouded hands
He allows me to raise my head
Oh, His beautiful antlers spread like gallows among the morning fog
He loftily stares down at my penitent crown
One more day, one more night
One more chance to make it right
He sees nothing in me other than a vessel
He stands before my clouded hands
He allows me to raise my head
Oh, His beautiful antlers spread like gallows among the morning fog
He loftily stares down at my penitent crown
One more day, one more night
One more chance to make it right
He sees nothing in me other than a vessel
CHARLEMAGNE
Countless flowers adorn the stars
Allow me, my dear, to hold you afar
I made a contract with the demons of Mars
Phobos and Deimos, grant me your bloodied red scarves
To carry out the wishes of countless bereaved men
deprived of the love they shared
Countless flowers adorn the stars
Allow me, my dear, to hold you afar
I made a contract with the demons of Mars
Phobos and Deimos, grant me your bloodied red scarves
To carry out the wishes of countless bereaved men
deprived of the love they shared
SOHNDERFIRE
Through each beat of discarded instrument you strum
I find fields of nightshade serenading my fragile shell
it comes through my veins
a monster you never meant to create in me
now and then I think on what it could have become, what I should have been and each time i fall farther from the truth
the water’s brisk lapping screaming over the din of laughter
fold away fold away never see me again, as the magpies sang
over the field of early dawn gray
This is the song she never meant to sing
This is the night I never meant to see
Through each beat of discarded instrument you strum
I find fields of nightshade serenading my fragile shell
it comes through my veins
a monster you never meant to create in me
now and then I think on what it could have become, what I should have been and each time i fall farther from the truth
the water’s brisk lapping screaming over the din of laughter
fold away fold away never see me again, as the magpies sang
over the field of early dawn gray
This is the song she never meant to sing
This is the night I never meant to see
SHORTCOMINGS
Wrought feathers and blood borne dreams
Bone palaces and statues of tears
Why am I here?
Asked the crow to the deer.
The deer simply answered
Because you have left all your fears.
Wrought feathers and blood borne dreams
Bone palaces and statues of tears
Why am I here?
Asked the crow to the deer.
The deer simply answered
Because you have left all your fears.
FEATHER ROOM
Standing amidst the shoddy grey veins
Turning the pages to dust
Of dust, arise the shimmering amongst the lost moments
Standing amidst the lurid minds of the sleep
I drift through this book of names
Alone, yet so loved
Loved, yet so alone
Scratched through the names I wished to forget
Forgot the names I wish to have scratched
A mirror shows me the cloak I wear upon my back, covering the shadows in the silver heart I bare.
Standing amidst the shoddy grey veins
Turning the pages to dust
Of dust, arise the shimmering amongst the lost moments
Standing amidst the lurid minds of the sleep
I drift through this book of names
Alone, yet so loved
Loved, yet so alone
Scratched through the names I wished to forget
Forgot the names I wish to have scratched
A mirror shows me the cloak I wear upon my back, covering the shadows in the silver heart I bare.
PLANAR
Do you ever look in a mirror
And stare, because all you can see is a devil?
A devil’s dog, a devil’s eyes
Now matter how long you look, the eyes aren’t mine
Oh of all the ways we could go
I ended up here, gazing at you
Do you ever look in a mirror
And stare, because all you can see is a devil?
A devil’s dog, a devil’s eyes
Now matter how long you look, the eyes aren’t mine
Oh of all the ways we could go
I ended up here, gazing at you
CELL
Sometimes the snakes in my
head don’t stop
Howling for what they want
Writhing out of greed
What have I done wrong
Either I’m not me, or I forgot
Sometimes the snakes in my
head don’t stop
Howling for what they want
Writhing out of greed
What have I done wrong
Either I’m not me, or I forgot
PERSONA
I’ve known your eyes since the day I began to remember
And I’ve known you for far more
So just who are you? That is my goal
I want to answer the question you impose upon the world
Before my time is up
I write this down in the journal of ivy
Crawling over the safe of my internal mind, it grows leaves of gold
The only one who can open it is you, since I am inside,
Since I’ve walked alone with God.
I’ve known your eyes since the day I began to remember
And I’ve known you for far more
So just who are you? That is my goal
I want to answer the question you impose upon the world
Before my time is up
I write this down in the journal of ivy
Crawling over the safe of my internal mind, it grows leaves of gold
The only one who can open it is you, since I am inside,
Since I’ve walked alone with God.
TOO MANY
Voraciously I bore into my eyes
With the hopes we all promised ourselves
My thoughts are getting cloudy, can I even think anymore?
Maybe its for the best that they can’t eat me alive
Away from light and home
As trivial as creation is, it’s our lifeline and guides us down the path to everything we want
But we do not understand what we want
Voraciously I bore into my eyes
With the hopes we all promised ourselves
My thoughts are getting cloudy, can I even think anymore?
Maybe its for the best that they can’t eat me alive
Away from light and home
As trivial as creation is, it’s our lifeline and guides us down the path to everything we want
But we do not understand what we want